On Several English Versions of A Tranquil Night
I. Introduction
Translation is a kind of language activity of using one language to re-express completely and accurately the ideological content contained in another language or it is a rendering from one language into another.
Our ancestry has created and developed the Chinese language in thousands of years; and some great writers wrote many good poems in the Tang Dynasty. The poetry language is complex, imaginative and difficult to translate. The translation of ancient Chinese poems has attracted many scholars’ interests, and some of them have made studies on poetry translation strategies (Chu Zhida,1992; Xu Yuanchong,2006). A Tranquil Night is an excellent and well-known poem by the poet Li Bai in the Tang Dynasty, and it has been rendered into English (Xu Yuanchong, 1987). Some scholars have made some comments on the translation of the poem and pointed out some limitations (Yang Daliang, 2007; Jin Jing, 2008 ) . In this thesis, I choose three versions to compare and prove that translation is not only a science, but also an art. 【文中引用的参考文献尽量要与文章最后对应】
II．Contrasting of the Versions in the Perspective of Three-word Standard in Translation
2.1 Three-word Standard of Translation
It’s Yan Fu who first proposed the Three-word Standard of translation: faithfulness , elegance and expressiveness. According to Yan Fu, faithfulness means that the content of target text must be faithful to the source text; Expressiveness means that the sentences must be fluent as the source styles and it must be the vernacular language and the people who speak target language can understand the translations completely; but Elegance’s meaning is different from its old meaning which means that the translation must be the ancient Chinese, and today it means that translation text can remain the style of the source text. When a translation meets the standards, it can be a good translation. In order to get a good translation, first the translators must master the source language and target language, and second the translator must know the content and spirit of the source text very well.
2.2 Faithfulness in Translation
In the first version, if we retranslate the text, we can find the most content was expressed in the translation. But in the title of the source text (《静夜思》),the important character is “think/thought (思)”，and in the content, “think/thought”（思）is the key word. But in the first version, the word “find” is not very suitable. In the source text, there is a character “望”. This word means “watch”, because the moon was in the sky at night, and we needn’t “find”. In version 2, most content was expressed in the translation also. But in the title, there is the same problem as version 1. And in line 2, the translator used an interrogative sentence to express the character “疑”，but in fact, in the source text, here “疑” have another meaning “doubt”. Because the poet didn’t sleep very well, but missed his hometown. When he saw the moonlight on the ground, he felt lonely and cold, and then he wondered that maybe there was the frost on the ground. In the third version, the title is better than the others. In the text, the translator used “so bright, so cold, so frail ”, but in our source text, there is no character such as “如此明亮，如此冰冷，如此脆弱”. Of course, when we read the poem, we can feel that the poet was very lonely, seeing the moonlight, and missing his family. But the poem didn’t write the words, if the translator add to, the translation is not very good. In my opinion, from the perspective of faithfulness, the second one is better than the others.
2.3 Expressiveness in Translation
With the developing of Chinese language, some characters changed their old meanings nowadays, and some remain their meanings of thousands years ago. In the source text, the poet used very simple characters. These characters didn’t change their meaning, so even a little child can understand the poem. Using of short sentences is one of the features of Tang poems.
2.4 Elegance in Translation
We know that each writer has his own style in his books. As a good translator, he couldn’t add and create his own style but reproduce the writer’s in the translation. Li Bai’s poems are often exuberantly romantic. Thy can “displace mountains, whip the ocean about, and grab thunderbolt from the heavens.(鞭达海岳，驱走风雷)”. His most famous poems, such as Hard is the Road to Shu (《蜀道难》), Dreaming of Sightseeing in the Tianmu Mountains(《梦游天姥吟留别》), and Hard is the Way to the World(《行路难》), are all characterized by wit, elasticity, flexibility, unpredictability, and vitality. But they are not the style of A Tranquil Night. In A Tranquil Night, the poet drowned in his homesickness. The poem is full of sadness and frailty.
In the first version, the reader can know that when the poet saw the moon, he missed his family. But they couldn’t understand why when the poet saw the moon, he felt sadly and lonely. In the second one, it expressed sadness a little.
In the last one, the translator added some words to reproduce its sadness. In a word, the last one is better than the others.
Ⅲ. Contrasting of the Versions in the Perspective of Three Beauties in Poetry Translation
3.1 Three Beauties in Poetry Translation
It is difficult to translate Chinese poems. But in fact, poetry translation is perhaps one of best ways to bring out the spirit of the translation, showing the beauty of the sense, sound and form in poetry translation. Especially of Tang poems, translation is perhaps one of best ways to demonstrative the nature of this artistic creation. The English poet Coleridge said: “Prose is words in best order; poetry is the best words in best order.” Poetry writing calls for beauty in sense, sound and form, so does poetry translation. A translator of them should not be content with merely conveying the ideas in the original, but must try to reproduce the original beauty. In Standards of Translation, Mr. Xu Yuan-zhong said that a good translator must reproduce the beauty in sense, sound and form as much as possible (Xu Yuanchong, 2006). To achieve this, he ought to take into consideration several things. First of all, he should do his best to retain the original meaning and artistic conception, i.e. the beauty of sense. Secondly, he should try to make his translation have certain rhythm and rhyme, i.e. beauty in sound. And the last one is that he should keep the original form as much as possible, i.e. beauty in form.
3.2 Beauty in Sense
All human beings are endowed by nature with the same mind which has the same function, so that they can exchange ideas and emotions with each other. As a result, poetry, a product of mind, is translatable and enjoyable so as to appeal to people’s heart. That is to say, the beauty of the poetry can better satisfy people’s mind. So far as the beauty in sense is concerned, on the other hand, a translator should reproduce the fine ideas of others just as painting does so as to catch the reader’s imagination. “Images, I think, will show beauty in sense”. Mr. Xu Yuan-chong says (Xu Yuanchong, 2006:25 ).
3.3 Beauty in Sound
The beauty in sound lies chiefly in rhythm and rhyme. “In Chinese poetry, rhythm consists chiefly in even and oblique tones, which may be represented by strength and weakness of the translation.” That is to say, a verse may be translated in iambics, trochaics, anapestic or dactylics. As to rhyme, it would be a good translation if the English rhymes could more or less resemble the Chinese ones.
Contrasting of these three different English versions:
In the source text, the first line “guang (光)” rhyme with line 2 “shuang (霜)” and line 4 “xiang (乡)”. In version 1, line 1 rhymes line 3, and line 2 rhymes line 4. In version 2, line 1 rhymes line 3. In the third one, line1 rhymes line6 and line 8; line 2 rhymes line 3; line 4 rhymes line 5; line7 rhymes line 9 and line 10. There are ten sentences in the translation. It can’t be read as beautifully as the first and the second. In addition, the first one is not only rhymed, but also succinct in word. It sounds like the Chinese regulated verse.
In most cases, English and Chinese words are quite different and on rare occasions English words may resemble Chinese characters in sound. Therefore, most often, it is unnecessary to achieve the same rhymes of both Chinese and English version. But it is advisable to bring out the original beauty in sound. In these cases, it is enough to keep the English version itself rhymed.
3.4 Beauty in Form
According to Halliday (2001), the three notions that are most relevant to translation studies–––stratification, metafunction and rank, which are the dimensions in comparing different languages. If you want to convey the sprit and features of the original in a considerable perfection, you must try your best to make your translation close to the original both in spirit and in features. Since the original is the poetry, it is better not to translate it into prose. Since the original is rigorous classical poetry, it is better not to translate it into modern free verse.
From the above analysis it can be seen that the process of translation is actually a process of recreation and reproduction. Creation and translation have their respective difficulties. But being a translator, he should realize it is important for him to take this as his consistent aim and try his best to bring more artistic beauty to the reader.
IV. Contrasting of the Versions in the Perspective of Cultural Differences
4.1 Cultural Difference and Translation
According to Deng Yanchang & Liu Runqing (1994) , language is the carrier of culture, and culture reflects a nation’s customs. Every country has its special and respective social system, geological environment, religion and belief, living habits etc. Sometimes, it is hard to find out an equivalent way of expression in other cultures (Newmark, 1981: 89).
Culture is a conception that contains a wide meaning. It not only refers to all forms of an art in a nation such as music, literature, philosophy but also includes the nation’s customs, habits, religion, etc. Language, which is an important part of the culture, can’t be segregated from culture. This is because nation’s language is not merely a tool for communication, but for the most important of all, it is the carrier of its nation’s whole culture. Translators are the channel and bridge which link up the authors and the readers. So the translator must know two languages, and also need to know the differences between two cultures. He must be faithful to the original as much as possible and dedicated to his readers. Any attempt to convey deceitful information is irresponsible to the author of the original.
4.2 Contrasting Analysis of the Versions
A Tranquil Night, composed by the poet Li Bai in Tang Dynasty, is a widely known poem in China and it also has been translated into more than thirty English versions, which is very popular for its simplicity and profoundness. With the developing of the world, the eastern countries, especially China, will communicate more and more with west countries. It means that we need more and more translation (culture, economy) between two languages. The poems, which are the essence of the culture, will be translated more and more. And for some reasons, no version is completely perfect. But fortunately, all of the translators try their best to make the translation perfect.
The analysis shows that A Tranquil Night has been translated by different translators with different emphasis on poems. The first version translated it, focusing on aesthetics appreciation. The second version translated it with emphasis on the aspect of the imagery conveyance, The last version focused on how to keep the rhyme of the original in translation and paid much more attention to the relevant background of the original poem or poet than the poem itself.
V. Conclusion
After contrasting and researching these versions, we can know that the translation is a science as well as an art. When we translate the cultural text (especially the poems) into another language, at first we must make them as the science experiments. The scientists must be careful in their experiments, we also must be careful on every word, every expression, every sentence, and every paragraph of the text. Second important point is that translators must regard translation as an art, must do as the artists do. They should enjoy the beauty of the source text and then re-produce the beauty in translation. Generally speaking, translation is a hard work.
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